Saturday, 30 March 2013

Goodbye Old Memories

I was always an ignorant person years before, never had I taken something so seriously and felt offended. I was a normal girl, who couldn't care less on how she folded her tudung, who burst out laughing when she found something was hilarious and who was quite a friendly person.

However, I was literally stabbed on the chest on this one fine day. It wasn't a good news and I was so clueless on how should I react to it. And I slowly changed to be more of an introvert rather than an extrovert.

I talked less to the extent where I felt like I had lost my voice when I opened my mouth to speak. The muscles near my mouth were so tight that I couldn't even force my lips to shape a warm smile. I began to excuse myself from others because it just felt so suffocating.

Family was (and still is) the group of people who I could rely on and pour my heart out to, easily. They helped a lot when I was going through that difficult phase of my life. They were always there supporting me and giving me encouragements, and in no ways should I forget them. 

But, you know what? Now that years have passed, I keep on wondering why I was so weak at that time. Why did I feel so down when I perfectly knew that I didn't do anything wrong? I was actually too stupid for being worried and sad, as I was indirectly admitting their wins and my loss. Wow.

I should move on now - no - I MUST move on. I believe that I have to stop these sickly memories from haunting me at days and nights. I should return to the old me and focus on the goals I have yet to achieve ahead of me. And prove to them that they have failed to make my life continuously miserable. To Allah I pray.

Assalamualaikum.
MizaFB

3 comments:

A penny for your thoughts?