Dear blogger,
Been feeling kinda down these past few days. Constantly feel like I am not doing well in many aspects of my life be it my career, my love life, my personal development, my spiritual journey and a lot more. Perhaps I've spent too much time on social media and looking at other people's glorious lives. Hahaha kids, that's why social media is toxic! :P
For example, one of my friends is currently offshore as a drilling engineer. That is my exact goal and passion that I discovered when I was in my senior year of degree, but here I am stuck at doing something that is not even related to my degree. To be honest, I always feel underperformed at my job, not knowing many things... It's not that I am unwilling to learn new things, but I'm just tired of it. When people say that you need passion to do well in your job, I greatly agree with that. You can definitely do the job even if you don't have passion, but you can't really push yourself to do more. At least this is how I feel right now. Please don't tell me I ain't grateful. I am grateful that I have a job... Torn between feeling grateful and wanting what I feel I deserved. Haha!
My love life? Oh well, sometimes I feel like I am not good enough haha. Quite often I'm worried about the future too... I don't really know... It's probably the demon in me. Or it's probably the baggage from past relationship. However, I do believe that I have reflected on my past relationship and sworn not to do all the things that I hated from it anymore.
I think that's enough.
If anyone ever read this... Don't worry if you don't understand what I am trying to tell. I've just had too many things on my mind and my thoughts are messy.
Stay safe y'all xoxo